Baywatch

Like its source material, Baywatch is sleazy and wholesome, silly and earnest, dumb as a box of sand and slyly self-aware. It’s soft-serve ice cream. Crinkle-cut fries. A hot car and a skin rash. Tacky and phony and nasty and also kind of fun.

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The requisite cameos pop up, haphazard and unnecessary though they may be. Gordon — who’s made a career in studio comedies — does not have a clear handle on the action sequences, relying too much on green screen and special effects, not to mention the bombastic, clunky score from Christopher Lennertz. Add to everything an especially laugh-less gag reel and you have a big, bad summer miss.

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Baywatch kinda baffled me. This R-rated comedy adaptation of the cheesy but sincere beach-set action series — which somehow became a worldwide phenomenon in the 1990s — is a movie that should be as enjoyably ridiculous as its source material.

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The big-screen version of Baywatch peaks early with its silliness right in the opening credits: A stern-looking Dwayne Johnson saves someone while dolphins high five each other with flippers and a title treatment hovers heroically in Godzilla-sized type.

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Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron prop up this self-aware summer jigglefest as long as they possibly can.

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There’s a plot somewhere, involving nightclub owner Victoria (Chopra, vamping it to 11), who is dealing a drug called “flakka” and has designs on privatizing the beach, and a pretty funny running joke involving the local police repeatedly admonishing the zealous lifeguards to stick to performing CPR, and stop, you know, going undercover to take down a drug kingpin.

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Playing up the insults and playing down the jiggle, a Dwayne Johnson/Zac Efron revamp of the cheeseball muscle-beach TV series is stupidly entertaining...for a while.

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Baywatch may promote a cast of (mostly) hardbodies, but its two-hour length is bloated to a point where no push-ups or dietary restrictions can help.

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When it comes to comedy, Seth Gordon’s big-screen Baywatch is a total boys’ club.

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Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron star in this big-screen adaptation of the hit television series about lifeguards.

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An adaptation of the iconic television series, starring Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, and Kelly Rohrbach, and a documentary about Gertrude Bell.

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There's no saving this meat-headed caper.

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This beach is littered with raunch.

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On the bright side, it’ll probably do killer business in Germany.

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Keep your expectations low, and this movie derived from the pop-culture TV artifact centered on surf, sand and fit bronzed bodies clad in revealing swimwear is passably enjoyable.

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If you’re like me, you laughed at the trailers for “Baywatch,” the feature-film comedy sendup of/homage to the cheesy lifeguarding adventure TV series.

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Hormones at flood tide can’t fill the big screen.

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‘Baywatch’ aims for gross-out humor but forgets a key ingredient: Comedy.

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Torn between being a hard-R comedy, a coming-of-age story or a straight-up reboot, this film fails at all three.

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In order to stop a local drug dealer, LA lifeguard Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson) must team up with rookie recruit Matt Brody (Zac Efron).

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Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron go chest to chest in a limp big-screen update of the 90s TV show that doesn’t have the wit or stamina to stay afloat.

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